If I Had a Nickel . . .

Me at 24 Weeks Pregnant—Far From Full Term

I think every expecting mom has ran into random comments from friends and strangers that came off as rude or uncomfortable, even when that was not the original intention. Here are some of my personal favorites.

Due Date Prediction—Unless you're a medical professional performing an ultrasound for a pregnant woman, don't try to predict her due date.

When it first became apparent that I was in fact pregnant and not packing on a beer belly, I was excited for the people I saw on a regular basis (like the check out woman at the grocery store or the mail carrier) to notice my baby belly. I actually went home and wrote in my journal about the first time anyone took notice to my baby bump—the clerk at Vons up the street asked me when I was due—I was so excited! It was when random people that I didn't know started to notice and make comments that situations turned to awkward. One time I was out celebrating with friends, and one of a friend's family members, who I had never met, asked me if I was due the following month. This would've been fine if this situation happened last month, but it was back in October. There I was, not even 24 weeks pregnant, and mistaken for someone who was about to pop. I laughed it off and informed them that I wasn't due until late February, while inside I was in shaking my head and possibly cursing a bit.

Predicting the Sex—Attempting to predict anything about a pregnant woman is just a bad idea. Avoid it if at all possible.

One morning at work, one of the weekly delivery drivers came in early and started a conversation with me about my being pregnant. He was asking me a lot of questions about how I was feeling, while sharing personal stories about his wife and young daughter. This was early on in my pregnancy, before I knew the gender of my baby. However, I was in luck—this guy apparently knew the accurate way to determine the sex of my unborn child simply by the way I was carrying her. I know there are old wives tales in every culture, but this guy was exuding confidence about his knowledge. He informed me that I was undoubtedly having a girl because I had a "chubby belly." Hmm . . . I thanked him for his prediction and carried on with my morning, reminding myself that English is not his first language—he must have used the word chubby for lack of a better word (or so I hoped).

Not Funny—Okay, so maybe I'm just a tad more sensitive than I used to be.

There have been multiple occasions where people close to me have called me fat in a joking way since I've been packing on the prego pounds. Any time this has happened, I've been sure to inform them that although I'm pretty comfortable in my ever-changing body, it is still hurtful and probably inappropriate to make jokes of that sort. In fact, I've said a couple times that the nicest thing you can say to a pregnant woman is that she's "all belly." Although the stretch marks on my legs tell a completely different story, I still appreciate the kind words.

In the end, I've never been one to take the personal opinions of others to heart, especially because most people say things that are hurtful without noticing. I've mastered taking obscure comments with a grain of salt, and being able to laugh about things that would otherwise make you cry is a skill that will come in handy no matter what you're going through.

I hope these short stories have sparked random memories for some of you of things that would have been better left unsaid. If so, feel free to share!