Hours Away from the Babe

Our Poster From the Puscifer / A Perfect Circle Show

The instant I met eyes with the little girl who had been jammed up in my rib for months, the purest love came into my life. Having a child sends you into some type of euphoric daze that never seems to wear off.

My family was there from the onset of my labor, and they have continued to support me immensely. There is nothing better than the guidance and relief given by family, especially following the birth of a child. Not only are there a million chores to be done, but following Charlotte's birth Josh and I could barely wrap our minds around the miracle of all that happened. As we reflect today, we remember the hospital being nothing short of a blur. We look back on it now and laugh about how completely in shock and detached from reality we both were.

I'm pretty sure we spent three or four days staring down Charlotte in joy and disbelief. I was (and still am!) so impressed with this little being before me. From the moment I first held my sweet angel, life felt the way it was always supposed to be.

It wasn't until Charlotte was two and a half months old that I came out of my euphoric newborn daze. The realization that I was now a mother to this beautiful young child came naturally, but the time had come to ditch my little minion for a few hours.

Back in October 2013, my fiance bought us tickets to see one of our favorite bands, A Perfect Circle. I remember laughing at the time, rubbing my small growing belly and texting my mom to see if she could babysit May 10th, months after Charlotte was due to be born. Thankfully, she agreed to babysit seven months in advance. Only the world's best grandma commits to babysitting an unborn child on a future date. The months flew by, Charlotte joined us, and the concert was right around the corner. Charlotte and I were extremely attached, and at this point I had only left her side one time for two hours.

Josh and I showed up to my mom's house with pumped breast milk in one hand, Charlotte in the other. I was dressed comfortably and cute, and I was ready to have a great night.

We handed Char off to grandma, and upon saying our good-byes, I began to tear up. Wearing liquid eyeliner, I knew crying was definitely not an option, and if I started the waterworks it would never end. So, I scurried my butt out the door as quickly as I could in order to stop the sobbing that was about to occur.

We arrived at the concert, had a couple drinks and spent way too much money on a signed poster. A Perfect Circle started playing as we were in the concession stand grabbing nachos, and we rushed back to our seats to see an amazing concert. The show was unique in that the three bands on the bill rotated sets, none of them playing more than a couple songs at a time. They would wheel one drummer off as he finished the song, while another drummer was brought on.

I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of my first night away, but there was one problem. Every time A Perfect Circle came on to play, I found myself immediately sobbing uncontrollably. I listened to this band almost everyday while I was pregnant. Somehow it had become an anthem to my undying love for my sweet little girl Charlotte. Each time they took over the stage, I found myself balling, liquid eyeliner running absolutely everywhere, forced to use Josh's sleeve as a tissue.

Once we finally got back to Charlotte about an hour after the concert ended, I wasn't sure that I'd ever leave her side again.

Charlotte will be four months old on Sunday, and my mom offered to watch Charlotte tonight, because she thought I needed a little time away. Time changes everything, and leaving her was not an issue for me this time. I didn't tear up at the door . . . come to think of it, I'm not sure if I even said good-bye. Okay, that sounds horrible, but in actuality, she tends to cry for me when I remind her that I'm there when someone else is holding her. So, by not saying good-bye, I was doing everyone a favor.

Yes, I love her more than life itself, but I was ready for a couple hours of freedom. I spend 24/7 with my angel babe, and her short naps and long nighttime sleeps are still busy times for me. If I'm not writing for my blog, I'm typing away, creating an article that is money! So, having a couple hours of real freedom to do whatever I please means so much these days. I'm very grateful, because when I leave Charlotte, I'm leaving her with the best of the best, my parents.

Following a night of Mexican food, mini golf and go-carts, Josh and I went to grab Char from my parents' house around 9:30 p.m. We walk in to see Charlotte in love with her Grandpa, knocked out, cuddled up on his chest. Before leaving, I'm sure to thank them for allowing me a date night. My dad tells me that it's important Josh and I have some time to ourselves, and he says we should utilize them to babysit at least once or twice a week. Leaving there I was laughing to Josh . . . I've only taken advantage of their babysitting a handful of times, even though they constantly offer.

I'm very attached to this little girl. I like to think that she prefers that I do everything for her (because she does). Our need for one another is mutual. She depends on me for virtually everything, and I want to be there to give her everything she needs. However, every once in a while, it's nice to have my body to myself (she's still exclusively breastfed and is RARELY bottle-fed), and it's also amazing to spend some alone time with Josh. So what if we talk about Charlotte constantly even when she isn't around? What else would you expect? She's our world.

Easing Pregnancy Woes

Embrace, Love and Respect Your Pregnant Body
 

I'm eager to give away the whole point of this post—pregnant woman shouldn't let worries get in their way.

Pregnancy is a momentous time where the health of your body and mind is directly linked to that of your growing baby. Speaking from my personal experience, it is easy to worry about every detail relating to our developing babies and pregnant selves, even when we know that nothing good will come of it. Considering this, I'd like to examine two common stress-inducers that expecting mothers often experience. 

Body Changes - Pregnancy can lead to a lot of physical changes in a woman's life. During my pregnancy, the changes I had expected (a healthier diet and bigger clothes) were accompanied by other new delights such as morning sickness, stretch marks, fatigue, swollen feet and ankles, etc. You may feel betrayed by the health you used to take for granted, and there are parts of your body that are morphing beyond recognition. Just remember that most of these are only temporary adjustments . . . your body goes through a lot to create new life.

 And while some body changes will be permanent, you have every reason to wear your battle scars proudly. I can assure you that once you're looking into your sweet little baby's eyes, you'll be extremely proud of every change your miraculous consciousness giving body went through. 

Labor Woes - Why wouldn't an expectant mother worry about labor at least a little bit? It's only the single most important event of her life. Soon-to-be mamas may feel they have to prepare for anything that could happen in labor and stick to their three page detailed birth plan, right? Not exactly. 

There is a reason there are professionals in every field, and once a woman is in labor and in the delivery room, she has one job only . . . have a baby! I wrote a post about my personal Birth Story. It details how my experience went completely against my birth plan in every single way, from the pain management to the cutting of the cord. However, because I trusted my coach (who happened to be my loving fiance Josh), and I trusted the team of doctors and nurses around us, there was nothing for me to worry about except the huge job of having little Charlotte.

For expectant moms who are still concerned about labor, my advice to you is to take childbirth classes, and find a reliable and supportive coach (husband, girlfriend, mom, doula, etc.). These are both absolutely essential to relieving your worry now and while you're in labor. Planning ahead will help you split the daunting responsibility of safely delivering a child with someone you trust. Also, learning about all the things that can happen and getting an idea of what to expect during labor takes the fear out of the process, and it replaces it with excitement. Also, take a hospital tour, pack your bag(s), and get ready to meet the love of your life. There's nothing to worry about. Zen.

I urge you to research the questions you have, because becoming informed is a great thing. It may actually help to lessen your worries and give you the extra confidence you need to face the future unknowns. And there will be many. I can't even begin to address the many worries I've had and continue to have regarding the future of Charlotte's health . . . and so on.
 

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was offered great advice from my dad. He told me that pregnancy is a time to revel in the day to day happenings. This could possibly be the only time that I was awarded the gift of pregnancy, and 40 weeks is such a short time in comparison to the rest of my life. Focusing on the preciousness that enveloped pregnancy, I was set to enjoy what was the happiest time of my life . . . that is until I laid my eyes on sweet Charlotte, and the happiness grew.

My dad's words rang so true, and they continue to bring me gratitude with every special moment in day to day life, as well. Wake up, smell the coffee, appreciate the hard times, pet your dogs, and enjoy it all. It really is the small, unphotographed moments that make life grand. 

Three Months Calls for Celebration

The most important events in our lives are synonymous with times of celebration. These exciting moments are quick glimpses of bliss in our otherwise chaotic and time obedient schedules.

This rings true when it comes to raising a child as well, in that each milestone serves as a great instance that is immediately stored as a special memory. Thus far, there has been no milestone more significant to me than Charlotte turning three-months-old.

Why does three months of age hold so much meaning to me?

Being completely naive to childhood development, I researched the basics on what to expect when raising a baby during their first year, as well as consulted my local expert, aka "mom." My findings pointed to three months being the age that I could expect some of the most exciting milestones: neck strength and head control, increased hand eye coordination and more. At three months Charlotte is a lot more fun to play with, and she enjoys looking around on walks and being entertained by toys. Not to mention that all the cool toys aren't recommended until this young age.

Three months is also a reason for celebration, because Charlotte and I have reached our first goal of exclusively breastfeeding. Sometimes breastfeeding holds challenges and puts restraints on me that are similar to when I was pregnant, especially because I tend to avoid bottle feeding (I think it's a hassle). However, I'm still enjoying the convenience of breastfeeding, and I really do think that it is a huge reason Charlotte is such an easy-going baby. That and my parenting style, which is "you can't spoil a baby."

So, congratulations on the milestones you've reached recently in your lives, whether it's with your children or it is a personal success that will remain a picture perfect moment in your memory forever. It seems like we're celebrating a potty training success one day, and then suddenly that same baby is walking at their college graduation the next. 

No matter what is on the calendar today, it marks a privilege to enjoy each moment gifted in our precious lives.