My Village

Charlotte & Her Aunt Natalie

"I'm exhausted . . . " The words fell out of my mouth without any effort. My mom looked at me and reassured that I looked tired, as a lay across her couch with Char standing on my lap. Despite my eight-plus hours of on and off sleep last night, I was out of energy. More than anything, I was mentally exhausted.

Although it is one of the most rewarding things I've ever done, entertaining a baby can also be one of the most tiring at times. It is because of this that I appreciate the help of my village . . . my family.

To say my family is tight-knit is actually an understatement. My sisters and parents are my best friends, and I spend more time with them than any and all my friends put together. Josh once told me that my family is perfect for raising children, which couldn't be further from the truth.

My parents sacrificed their entire lives for my three sisters and myself. Now, they continue to do the same for their grandchildren. Our family is very kid-centric, and for that I am extremely thankful. Not only did this mindset give me a supportive and loving upbringing, but now my daughter gets to experience this overwhelming amount of unconditional love.

From my amazing fiance down to my sweet nieces, everyone in the family enjoys spending time with Charlotte. She is lucky to be surrounded by so many great people, because each influence will impact her life in a different way. For example, my nieces Sadie and Mabie play with her differently from the ways I would, and her dad makes her smile and coo using silly faces and maneuvers that I haven't even thought about. It works out well for the baby, and it works out for mom too. I'm not ashamed to say that I also need a little break every once in a while . . . especially now that Charlotte's naps are almost nonexistent in comparison to her wakeful times.    

During the weekdays when Josh is at work, I am able to enlist the help of my mom and sister. My younger sister Natalie and my mother both operate very differently, but with the same end in mind . . . and that is ensuring the children are well taken care of. I've watched as they've helped love and guide Sadie and Mabie over the last few years, and I'm constantly taking notes on their negotiation techniques. I spend a lot of time with my mom and sister, and because of that they are both a huge part of Charlotte's life. They comfort, cuddle, talk and entertain my sweet little girl. Beyond that, they both go out of their way to make sure that I can do some things for myself every once in a while.

Whether it is coming over for an hour to hold the baby while I shower and make something to eat, or serving as my personal laundry service, I'm extremely grateful for the help of these two women. Thanks to these ladies, not only do I have a time to shower or walk the dogs, but I also haven't experienced postpartum depression. Having them around during the day, rather than just staying locked in my house with the baby and my two pups, really keeps my life upbeat and lighthearted.

Now it's clear why they say it takes a village to raise a baby, not only does everyone have different insight . . . but mom needs a break every once in a while. Not only was I blessed with a sweet little genius baby, I also have a supportive and loving family.

Charlotte is a babbling, smiling, hand sucking, toy playing, aware baby girl who loves her parents, and her village, enormously.

Naturally

I never even changed a diaper before Charlotte came into the world. Now I find myself completely alone, being stared down by a needy (and absolutely adorable) infant. Although I have two nieces whom I love dearly, I wasn't one to babysit without recruiting the help of super nanny aka my younger sister Natalie. When I would express my concern of potential motherhood inadequacy, moms reassured me that it comes naturally. 

After Charlotte came into my life, I was only working with the couple skills that I picked up during the first week—breastfeeding and rocking. There were a small number of times that Charlotte overate because she had a tummy ache. To my surprise breastfeeding on demand didn't equal feeding her for hours at a time, even if she thought that was what she wanted. Now it sounds silly, but at the time I just thought she was still hungry. 

Thankfully, I've learned to decipher when she is hungry from when she has gas, is bored or just wants to be cuddled, rocked and sung to. Being able to determine what she needs and the ability to keep her happy has actually come naturally to me just as all those moms had said it would!

I feel like a different person. Her and I are completely in tune with when she's ready to nurse, and I know what to expect in her diaper over a 24 hour period. I'm grateful my own mother has given me more guidance and advice than I could have ever hoped for. How else would I know how hot to make her baths and tricks to get her to fall asleep when she's fussy? She is getting more aware and smarter everyday, and I know that she's well taken care of. 

Now if a new mom confided her worries to me, I'd give her the same advice I received—motherhood will come naturally. And it rocks!

Mama's Girl

Having a newborn is a new experience. I have been staying home with my young daughter, and I am her primary caregiver 24 hours around the clock. I wouldn't have it any other way. Choosing to exclusively breastfeed, Charlotte and I have found ourselves attached at the breast every one to three hours.

Before having a child and taking on the greatest responsibility of my life, I imagined that my baby's father would be able to provide me with relief by helping with the baby when he comes home from his responsibilities late at night, however that is not possible yet. Despite Josh's greatest efforts, our baby prefers to be rocked while cuddled up to her food source (that's me!) anytime after 7 p.m. It's safe to say that as of right now she is a mama's girl.

Now that Charlotte is five weeks old and has established a predictable eating and sleeping schedule, I have decided to start taking a little time away from my new best friend. I know that in the mornings she is never fussy and typically requires nothing more than a feeding and cuddles to go back to sleep when she wakes between 1 and 9 in the morning. The last couple mornings I nurse Charlotte when she wakes up at her 5 a.m. feeding, and then I softly place her to sleep. Where do I head out for the next hour or so? The gym.

Yeah, so I walk the dogs during the day with the baby, and I have also more at-home DVDs and work out tools than is necessary. Maybe it would be better to save money every month when I can get a perfectly good workout for less, but the truth is . . . I love going to the gym. Not only is it a great excuse for me to get away from being a mom for an hour every day, but there's no better motivator to get my pre-baby body back than by ensuring doing so is my shot at "me time."

I will admit however that throughout my entire workout I'm pushing myself hard so I can get home to the little girl that I miss so much. I also worry constantly that she has woken up and is refusing a bottle because she wants the real thing. Thankfully, I'm always happy to return home to see that she is still asleep where I left her. I guess I really do know when she is guaranteed to sleep. That must be why I leave during the hours that I do. Either way, the day that she does decide to wake up and mom is not there to nurse her back to sleep, I know her sweet and compassionate dad will do just as an amazing of a job with a warm bottle of breast milk and a beard. Maybe only then she'll get her chance to see how great it is to be daddy's girl too!

A New Member in Our Pack

Preparing to bring home a baby is a lot of work. One of the biggest concerns Josh and I had surrounding the arrival of Charlotte was how our dogs were going to react to having a baby in the house. We have a four-year-old Jack Russell mix named Chuck and a two-year-old Chiahuahua mix named Mila. It's safe to say that we are slightly obsessed with our dogs. Before Charlotte, we often referred to them as our kids. Expecting our first human child, our new responsibility was ensuring the transition into having a baby was smooth for everyone in the household, including our precious pups.

The first order of business was getting Chuck and Mila in formal training, because watching back to back seasons of The Dog Whisperer wasn't cutting it anymore. We signed them up for the City of Upland's beginner dog training class and crossed our fingers in hopes it would be enough. 

   

For over 10 weeks, Josh and I each left work early to ensure we could make the weekly sessions with our pups in tow. Thankfully, both of our dogs amazed us and graduated from the training with flying colors. The teacher didn't even believe that we had behavior problems at home, because both dogs were so well behaved during class. She also said Chuck and Mila would do great with the baby, because they would accept her into our pack.

We were extremely satisfied when not only did our dogs learn to follow basic commands like heal, sit and stay . . . we were also able to establish that Josh and I are the leaders of our pack. That learning was going to be essential if we planned on convincing the dogs that our baby Charlotte is also a pack leader. 

Now that Chuck and Mila successfully completed their training, we were anticipating our upcoming due date with so much excitement, ready to put our learnings into action. The day after Charlotte was born, Josh and I learned that we were going to be kept for an extra day because my blood pressure was still dangerously high. That being said, Josh went home to shower and check on the dogs (who had been under the care of my sister Natalie and her boyfriend while we were away). Josh brought a baby blanket that Charlotte had been swaddled in to the house to introduce the dogs to Charlotte's scent. 

I received this picture from Josh:

                                   

It may seem a little unorthodox how Josh swaddled Chuck in the blanket to get him to smell the baby, but either way the dogs seemed interested to meet the babe. 

When we finally got the go ahead to take Charlotte home, we were so excited. Not only was I feeling desperate to get away from the constant interferences by the hospital staff, I was also beyond excited to see my dogs after days apart! 

We arrived at our house, and Josh was the first one to enter. He greeted the dogs and gave them some love while I waited outside with the baby. Then Josh instructed me to go inside to say hi to the dogs and give them some love. I grabbed some dog treats and let Josh know we were ready for the big meeting. He walked in with the baby, and the dogs were immediately interested. They both approached the baby, and Josh lowered her feet by their noses so they could get a sniff. Once they smelled her and remained calm, I was sure to praise them and give them each a treat. We repeated this process many times to encourage their positive, calm interactions with the baby. 

Since then, the dogs have exceeded our expectations behaving well with the baby. They are sure to give Charlotte and me space during breastfeeding. When they do decide to cuddle up, it's never directly with the baby, instead it's closer to mom and dad. Whenever she is laying on the floor doing tummy time, they are curious enough to check on her grunts and movements, but they give her the personal space she deserves. 

As Charlotte grows, she is going to need our constant supervision because her interactions with the dogs will change. However, I'm no longer worried about those days because it is clear that Charlotte has already been accepted as a new leader in our pack.